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Archive for the ‘Blame’ Category

The “It’s Not You, It’s Us” Approach to Relationship Problems

The “It’s Not You, It’s Us” Approach to Relationship Problems

(This blog post was written by Elisabeth Mandel, LMFT. Elisabeth is an Associate Therapist at our practice and specializes in working with couples.) Partners often come to therapy to play the blame game. One partner points the finger at the other, turns to the therapist and says, […]

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Is Couples Therapy Right For Us?

Is Couples Therapy Right For Us?

Relationships are challenging. Couples may be arguing, bickering, and constantly triggering each other, or they may be disconnected, feeling alone, and barely speaking. The common thread in couples seeking services is that their relationship is no longer a safe, loving, and enjoyable space. As a licensed marriage and […]

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“Owning Your Stuff” In Therapy…It Can Be Empowering!

“Owning Your Stuff” In Therapy…It Can Be Empowering!

Most of us yearn for friendly, rewarding relationships with other people…but we often find ourselves at times embroiled in relationships which are exactly the opposite; full of hostility, resentment, bitterness and distrust. As a couples therapist, I work with my clients to help them communicate more effectively, […]

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Building Awareness…Identifying Your Aversive Strategies…

Building Awareness…Identifying Your Aversive Strategies…

Many individuals, couples and families who seek out therapy report that they have a difficult time dealing with conflict in an effective way, often using aversive control strategies in the ineffectual attempts to change the behavior of those around them. In this blog post, I identify and describe some of the […]

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Getting Unstuck – Moving Forward and Resolving Your Disagreements Together…

Getting Unstuck – Moving Forward and Resolving Your Disagreements Together…

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last. – Simone Signoret Many of my clients come to couples counseling because they feel that they are constantly bickering […]

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How To Communicate Effectively With Your Partner…Ditch the Blame Game!

How To Communicate Effectively With Your Partner…Ditch the Blame Game!

When working with my couples therapy clients, I try to remind them to communicate what they feel and want, as opposed to hiding their feelings or blaming each other. Using “I feel/I want” statements is an effective method to remind individuals to communicate what they are feeling […]

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Bringing Our Past Into The Present…More On Core Beliefs

Bringing Our Past Into The Present…More On Core Beliefs

Our core beliefs have a large impact on how we view ourselves, other people, the world around us and predict the future. I work with my clients to help them discover their core beliefs, which is a significant part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (“CBT”). Our  core beliefs […]

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Couples Therapy Intervention: Altering Your Patterns

Couples Therapy Intervention: Altering Your Patterns

When working with many couples in my practice, I often ask them the following question(s) and record the answers on a sheet of paper for each partner: “When you feeling your worst, how do you act with each other? What does this look like?”  I work with couples […]

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Simple Steps For Creating The Relationship(s) You Want…(Part I)

Simple Steps For Creating The Relationship(s) You Want…(Part I)

We all know that relationships are often not easy. As a marriage and family therapist, I help my clients navigate their relationships. As mentioned in my last blog post, our relationships tend to mirror many of the things we feel about ourselves. I wrote this post to help my readers […]

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What is Couples Counseling?

What is Couples Counseling?

Couples often seek therapy at a point in which their relationship is polarized by reactivity and power struggles are making connection extremely difficult. Trapped in impasses that they are unable to fix on their own, they seek counseling with the hope of finding a new direction. payday […]

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